Warkah ini telah dikirimkan kepada kami daripada Qurnisha Hamka sendiri. Telah diumumkan kepada kami bahawa beliau akan menulis dan menghantar dua lagi “blog post” tentang isu ini. Nantikan perkembangan selanjutnya di sini…
By the time I am done writing this, the tea I made would have gotten cold and Farhan slowly getting up for Subuh prayers. There are just so many things I want to say, and one post would not do justice to the injustice that I faced. I will have no regrets writing this. Maybe I will go and disappear, stay low for a while and wait for the wave to go back into the ocean. Maybe I will go back to my parent’s place. Maybe I will just stay here, with my husband and child and wait it out. I really have not made any plans yet. . .
Never mind, here goes nothing.
As a journalist, we have been told to always seek the truth. In fact and often, my editors would give me a hard time by making me angle a story in a way that is not how I really want it to be.
But I would like the people who are reading this blog – a space where I let my heart hang out – to know that my views are my own and that no one is asking me to write this.
The closer we get to PRU14, I get more and more disgusted. When people make use of my religion, I find it a huge insult to the man above and everyone that embraces it. What is worst if you use Islam to benefit yourself, to influence and win votes from sincere and clueless old men and women.
I think you know what I am talking about: People who put on a jubah and wear a koppiah on their heads (lest people forget, also eyeliner because it is Sunnah…), pretending to be religious but behind that persona, they don’t really care about religion. It not right, it is a very big sin!
I have discussed this with Farhan, and he thinks it is the right thing. One of the reasons I am writing this is because of him. He found my old phone, and to save our marriage, this is the right thing to do to clear my name before it gets dragged through the mud. Honestly, I don’t think he truly knows how this will affect us, but we got hitched because we are both reporters and truth, like water, will find a way and ultimately prevails.
To be frank, Farhan and I almost divorced.
Before we got married and the closer the wedding day, I got more stressed out. Looking back, I’m not sure if it was me getting cold feet, or the fear of sticking to one man for the rest of my life that troubled me. I mean, Farhan could always marry 3 other women, but I would only have him. So fair tak? With the mess in my head, I needed somewhere, or someone, to release all the tension…
…so I chose someone.
We met while I was still at BNBCC (I know, but I needed to pay the bills…) in 2013. At that time, I was covering the whole saga between him and former Selangor MB Khalid Ibrahim which he eventually won. He was nice, charming and personified the type of men I can only dream of. He was also handsome, in my eyes I guess, but he is also married.
I guess you already know who I am talking about, it is Azmin Ali.
As a reporter, our work is time sensitive so we often exchange email addresses with who we report on. I asked Azmin for his email address because of his problem with Khalid Ibrahim and I needed a way to talk to him (on hindsight, we could’ve just exchanged numbers hmm…)
In mid-2014, Azmin and I got in contact once again but it wasn’t for work anymore. At first I was surprised that he replied me because have you seen me? Confidence and self-esteem issues all bundled into one, who am I right? I am quite sure you think that I am making all these up, and that I am working with BN to give him a bad name. But it is not true, I am not.
I have attached our whatsapp and email conversations as proof in this post. There is really no point to lie about this and I know that I am an honest person, I think.
Something I got from my old phone…our conversation in 2014 and him asking me for more pictures
It was my mistake to have sent him all these photos. But he said he would delete them…
on our many skype sessions…
……our many email conversations
Azmin was very careful, even in our conversations on WA. When we met, he would always get his assistants to scout the hotels first (macam spy movie kan? Paranoid betul). All the photos that I sent him, are all truly mine. Probably he has already deleted them, but I still have them in my sent items.
I still feel angry but sadder about this, but we took photos when we were together. According to Azmin, “for memories” and for “what is to come”.
You are probably thinking, why have I been silent all these while? The reason is that we took videos when we were together. Me on the bed, him with the camera. He threatened, even sending me one of the videos he took, that if I ever opened my mouth, he will “accidentally” release the videos and that no one will ever know that it was him because his face never appeared in them.https://malay-glamour.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/v1-Janji-ditepati.wmv
This is the video he sent me of us when we were together. Look at the hands, they are clearly his!
Without a doubt, we actually had a really good time together. Women who are together with rich and powerful men will know what I mean – men like them are different, things just seem to go smoothly when you are with them.
During the good times and before everything soured, Azmin actually proposed to me, not in the most romantic of ways but more in the “we should make this halal” kinda way. Funny how it was music to my ears, and that I won’t have to deal with Farhan anymore. Azmin said we could always go to Thailand to get married – so no one would know – but I did not have a good feeling about it. What about his wife, his six children? Will they be okay, having a step-mom who is much younger than their own? I mean, we should still talk to his wife first, regardless. He said, convincingly, that “dia okay je, dia tahu pun dia tak suka kasi. Jangan fikir dah”.
To be sure, and I know I sound crazy by doing this, I tracked Shamsidar’s number and called her. What she told and sent me, I can’t even begin to describe.
This is already a long post, so I will end it here. My next post is about what his wife (Shamsidar) sent me. I am really sorry, the other gals, in advanced. . .